"I could be the least quotable guy I know."
Reluctantly admits to being @davio1962 on Twitter

What the heck is that thing up there?
As part of my routine, every morning I consult my trusty OUIJA board to find out what the day will bring. Here was today’s message:
This holiday season…the greatest gift you received…was the gift of…patienJESUS CHRIST WILL YOU COME ON ALREADY?!!
There is no menorah at the house in which I am staying; I never felt more naked in my life.
Also, totally not wearing any clothes.