Here I am in full-blown Sabbatical mode. No wait. I just wrote this. Now I am in full-blown existential quandary mode. This is no way to spend a Sabbatical.

As some of you have noticed, I have been absent from Tumblr for the past few days. I asked my mother to write me a note, but she’s still sore from that time I forged her signature at the bottom of one when I was in Junior High School.

In any event, I have been on Sabbatical, which I believe is Latin for not having anything worthy to write about. Not that I haven’t tried. I posted several “jokes” on that other “social networking” site. And although the results weren’t pretty, at least they had a good personality.

My absence from writing (or whatever it is that you call it) has left me with a lot of time for pursuing my other areas of interest. Such as staring blankly out the window, for example. And humming tunelessly. And counting ceiling tiles.

(The last-named was rather short-lived due to the fact that I have plaster ceilings. Oh well, back to staring out the window.)

In any event, I highly recommend that everybody take a Sabbatical from the to time. Da vinci sure as heck did.

You’d be surprised to discover exactly what you have been missing outside the window all these years. I also find that a Sabbatical refreshes the neurons and replenishes one’s creative juices. To the point where you can create masterpieces such as the Venus De Milo. Or even this post.

I have received many* inquiries as to why I did not post anything yesterday.

First of all, thank you for noticing. At first I felt a little sheepish, but then I remembered that I had some serious contemplating to do. I cannot say, however, that I have been contemplating the results and implications of the Republican primary or the plight of invisible children.

Nay, I have been seriously contemplating Tumblr’s new icon system.

Now I hate change as much as the next guy (and I really wish the next guy would stop reading this over my shoulder). But I have to admit that Tumblr’s new icons have a pleasing, organic quality to them. They’re also cute in a bubbly sort of way. Pleasing, cute, bubbly and organic. Yep, that’s it in a nutshell.

But are they functional? I cannot say. I have given up on clicking any sort of button in the Tumblr universe for fear that I would bring about the dreaded Blue Screen Of Apology. So to me, the new icons are eye candy. And you know what they say about eye candy…the sugar can fuse your lids shut.

And that’s the kind of thing that can ruin your day.

*-none.

Hey, looked what showed up in my ASKBOX, four times yet!

Anyway, I read it (four times) and thought to myself, “I sure would like an iPhone”. So, I followed the link to input my personal information. The fact that my antivirus software identified the site as “100% potentially malicious” was just a mere annoyance.

Interestingly, there was no dedicated place to type in my social security number so I just keyed it in under Comments:.

Also, they called me “Dearest”! Too bad you’re not as dear to Tumblr staff as I am.

I put one of these on my Tumblr pages. It means that if you decide to steal my content (likely as a result of a bad Ecstasy trip), there will be heck to pay.

And have you seen what heck is getting on the open market these days? You don’t want to know. 

Hit a random post on my Tumblr and came up with this gem. From the first month or two I began posting. Nice to know that I hit my peak so early; it saves time later on.

I make it my personal business NEVER to tell the truth on a Tuesday.

Currently looking for a new blogging platform.

Every night at approximately 7pm, my Internet provider, Optimum Online (a subsidiary of Cablevision, don’t you know) decides that Tumblr is an evil force that has to be eradicated and blocks my access to it.

And while I cannot argue that the content is banal at best (except your blog; yours is rad!), I do not find it so distasteful that I need to shield my eyes from it (except your blog; yours is grody.).

What even makes this more strange is that by 6am the next morning (yes, I do read your blog at that ungodly hour), I am once again granted access. It’s like Optimum Online is giving all of you a fresh chance to elevate the content to something worth reading.

But alas, by 7pm, you have disappointed my Internet gods once again.

To be honest, I don’t know why I hang around with you anymore.