But then again, like it ever let me get a word in edgewise.

Did you know that St. Patrick’s Day is also the anniversary of my first date with the woman who later was to be my wife?

Or the anniversary of the first date with the woman I was involved with previously?

Or the woman before that?

Now, believe me, this is neither coincidence nor some kind of cultural connection. On the contrary, it is merely a case of me possessing a poor memory.

Therefore, I always would insist on having a first date take place on St. Patrick’s Day, so later on when my girlfriend would ask me (belligerently, I might add) when our first date was, I would triumphantly scream,

MARCH 15!

Is is really possible to fall in love with a new phone?

And, is there room in this sordid relationship for my wife, or…

Must I move out?

I have a belt clip, so at least I know my phone will have a place to live.