Why I want to win an Academy Award, by davio1962.
I want to win an Academy Award because they’re cool. If you look carefully, you can see that they look like some kind of superhero. Like Iron Man, if he was made of gold. I think being made of gold would be bad for a superhero because then the super villains would be trying to steal you, instead of some crappy old money or artwork or something.
I also want to win an Academy Award because none of my friends have one. Well, Randy might have one. He’s one of those kids who seems to have everything before the rest of us. He tells us that’s because his parents love him more than our parents love us, but we all know that his parents get him stuff so that he will shut up. Randy talks a lot.
I hear that Academy Awards are heavy. This would make them great weapons in the war against zombies. And 8th graders. Same thing, heh, heh. But seriously, I think I would be able to protect my house and family against zombies, super villains and 8th graders if I had an Academy Award. I would probably have to register it with the police, though. I wonder if all the actors have to do that.
So, I hope that the nice people at the Academy of Motion Picture (what’s that) Arts and Sciences read this and seriously consider giving me an Academy Award. I know there’s probably not enough time for them to do it this year, but there are really no excuses for 2013. I have already cleared off a space on my dresser by giving the Jar Jar Binks action figure to my brother because he is lame. I mean Jar Jar is lame. Well, my brother is lame, too.
You know, I think this would make an awesome acceptance speech.