The Continuing Adventures Of Hip Flexor, State Licensed Physical Therapist

As we join our hero, we find him in a terrifying predicament; that is, trying to explain his treatment plan to Mrs. Sphinkle’s insurance company.

“But Mr. Flexor, you still haven’t provided a medical rationale for the additional 6 weeks of sessions” the bureaucrat stated.

“Why I thought I did” Hip replied. “She is recovering from surgery.”

“But that was jowl-reduction surgery, Mr. Flex—

But before the desk monkey could complete the thought, Hip was distracted by the dulcet sounds of his office door being kicked in.

“What the medial collateral ligament is going on here?” Hip wondered aloud before taking a door splinter in his clavicle. And it was at that moment when he gazed upon his arch enemy, Co-Payment Man, making his way through the debris.

“What brings you here, you fiend?” snarled Hip.

“The B52 Express Bus. But I hardly see how that’s relevant. Prepare to meet your maker, Flexor!”

Fortunately, Co-Payment Man’s obtuseness gave Hip ample time to zero in and ready a haymaking punch aimed directly at his foe’s mandible.

“Is that a haymaker you’re ready to throw?” Co-Payment Man inquired.

“Why yes. Now hold still.”

“I’m sorry, but that will cost you $15. Payable up front.”

“What?! Oh, no!…Wait.” Hip checked his billfold. Do you accept checks? I’m a little short this week.”

“Of course. You can make it out to Co-Payment Man, LLC.”

“Great,” stated Hip. But as he was fumbling with his fountain pen, Co-Payment man gave him such a kick to the spleen that Hip fell over the treatment table, knocking him senseless.

Hip recovered quickly, however, and rushed towards his nemesis looking to defeat him once and for all with a powerful, cross body block to the patellas.

“Is that a cross body block you wish to throw?” asked the villain.

“Why yes,” replied Hip mid-air. “And it will defeat you once and for all!”

“I see,” said Co-Payment Man. “Well…that will cost you $15 for the block and another $15 for any collateral damage to my patellas. All payable up front” said Co-Payment Man while deftly sidestepping the flying Physical Therapist.

“Aaaaarrrgggh!” said Hip as he landed in a heap. “I’m being nickled and dimed to death!”

“What can I say? You should have read the documentation we mailed. It’s all spelled out for you in the table on page 6” said Co-payment Plan as he stepped over our hero on the way out. “But there IS some good news.”

“What’s that?” moaned Hip.

“I believe you met your yearly deductible.”

“That’s nice” stated Hip as he lost consciousness once and for all.

  1. davio1962 posted this