Chapter 7

A Special Thanksgiving.

Kip loved this holiday most of all. The warmth of the fire burning in the living room. The excitement of the fire department bursting into the house to put out the fire. That’s right. Kip’s family didn’t have a fireplace. They didn’t have a lot of luxuries, but they did have one thing. Diphtheria. That’s right. Kip’s family had something that few other families would ever dream of having. And for that they were thankful.

This previous day in school, Kip’s teacher was talking about the first Thanksgiving, which may or may not have taken place in Hoboken, New Jersey in 1978. That was when the Amish invited their Jewish friends over for a feast. But alas, the feast was not kosher and so the Jews slew the Amish and fed upon their remains until Hanukkah. Or so Kip recalled.

Kip had attention problems. It was well documented in his school files.

But his favorite part of Thanksgiving was the meal. The way his mother’s cranberry sauce resembled the can it came in. Because his mother neglected to take it out of the can first.

Kip’s mother had drinking problems. It was well documented in the order of protection.

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