Elias found the DVD peddler at his usual spot on the corner.
"Excuse me…" Elias stammered while the peddler rooted through his gym bag of discs. "EXCUSE ME!"
"Can I help you, buddy?"
"Um…yes. I uh bought this movie from you yesterday."
"Oh sure, pal. Of course I remember you [eye roll]. So what’s the problem?"
"Well, I’m not so sure that it is a legitimate director’s edition of Argo.”
"Sure it is." the peddler replied, holding up the DVD case. "See, it says so right her."
"Uh…be that as it may. About 13 minutes into the film, I can clearly make out someone walking in front of the screen."
"Yeah, well that’s the director.” the peddler snapped back.
"Well, I suppose. But what about the murmuring I hear throughout?" Elias asked.
"Never heard of Celebrity Commentary? I’m surprised. A discerning movie-viewer such as yourself…"
"But they’re talking about where to go for dinner"
"Hey, even celebrities have to eat. Particularly after a full day of commentary."
"Probably right. But…uh…perhaps the most troublesome thing is that…uh…6 minutes before the apparent end of the movie, it suddenly cuts to…a…[whispers] an adult movie. Clearly in…uh…progress."
"BONUS FEATURES! Say, how much did I charge you for this?"
"Five dollars." stated Elias.
"Well, then you clearly put one over on me. Now get outta here before I call the cops.”
"Yes, sir." Elias stammered. "And thank you for not involving the authorities."
"Don’t mention it, buddy. And hey, maybe you should consider keeping your nose on the right side of the law."
"I’ll try." said Elias. "Apparently, I have issues."