Serious Thinks Thought Here

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Pat: Welcome back to Wheel Of Fortune! Here's our next puzzle [beep-boop sounds]...and the category is--THING. It's your turn, Aristotle.
Aristotle: [spins]
Pat: $500
Aristotle: I'll take a THETA, Pat! [buzz]
Pat: Sorry, Aristotle. No THETA. And I have to say that I would have been surprised if there was one, you know? But you can use that Free Spin card you won...
Aristotle: Sure, Pat. [spins]
Pat: $1000
Aristotle: Um, is there an...OMEGA, Pat? [buzz]
Pat: No. No OMEGA. No theta and no omega. Jeez, man. Well, now it's Veronica's turn to spin.
Aristotle: A vowel! A vowel! Can I buy a vowel?
Pat: No really, Aristotle. It's Veronica's turn--
Aristotle: An ALPHA! I'd like to buy an ALPHA! [buzz]
Pat: No ALPHA, you cretin! No theta, no omega and no alpha [buzz, buzz]. You hear those buzzes?! It means you're wrong! You're wrong!
Aristotle: Lambda?
Pat: Buzz! Now, we are going to move on to Veronica or I'm going to beat you senseless! Spin the damn wheel, you harlot!
Veronica: Yes sir. [spins]...Oooh, $5000! [tremendous applause] Um...is there a...DELTA? [ding, ding, ding]
Aristotle: Damn.