Twinkies™ have been in the news lately. I don’t watch or read about the news because I feel that facts color my opinions. And I don’t want that.

But is it true that there might not be any Twinkies™ anymore? I have to say that I, for one, would be glad to see them go.

Between the spongy, almost artificial, texture and its unnatural sweetness (better taste through science), it is about as close to an evil food as anything else on the planet. Except perhaps, kale.

The difference is, Twinkies™ were invented in some government laboratory. Probably as a way to torture subversives. At least initially.

But then a funny thing happened. THEY COULDN’T GET ENOUGH OF THEM. It was like some kind of drug. Like meth. Or Ritalin. I don’t know, sometimes I make things up.

In any event, can’t we just agree that the world would be a better place without Twinkies™. We can’t? Balls.