First, a little admission. I used to be a political activist. That’s what you call someone who votes in most elections, right?

In any event, I would pick my candidate after thoroughly scouring the newspapers for directives on who to vote for. And then with a vengeance of a person adopting a pet from the shelter, I would take full ownership—living and dying with my favorite candidates as the poll results came in.

But in the end, it was mostly dying. You see, I have a penchant for picking losers (the current Mrs. Leibowitz excepted). One might go as far to say it’s a gift bestowed upon me by God. Or the Republicans.

And if it wasn’t the case of my candidate losing, it was the unthinkable alternative; i.e., my candidate would win and subsequently embarrass themselves (and by extension, me) either through some salacious scandal or just their mere incompetence.

So, it just came down to me becoming sick and tired of being disappointed. And I soon learned that if I don’t invest myself in politics (that means don’t vote in most elections, right?) I can avoid that disappointment.

BONUS: I get to complain no matter who is in office without having to make excuses for anybody. And that’s a principle on which this great country (the U.S., for all you foreigners out there) was built.