- Wife: Ugh, I'm sick of coming up with ideas for dinner. JUST ONCE, why don't you decide what to have for dinner for a change.
- Me: OK, how about pork chops?
- Wife: Nah, not in the mood for pork chops.
- Me: ...
Scott: Hey, music fans! I’m Scott and I know that you love PBS’s dedication to good music and want PBS to continue to bring you the best performances. So that’s why we’re airing an encore presentation of one of our board of directors’ favorites: “Headbangers and Proto-Punks!”
And to help me talk about this wonderful encore presentation is the lead singer of the Flaming As*holes, Trevor Phlegminski. Trevor, how are you tonight?
Scott: Right. I can see you’re as excited as I am about this special. And who can blame you, with favorites like “I Want To Be Your Dog" by Iggy and the Stooges. You know, it’s on our companion CD, "Headbangers and Proto-Punks!" which new and old members can receive with a $100 donation.
Trevor: Iggy bites.
Scott: You bet he does. The drummer, the girl in the first row — all in “Headbangers and Proto-Punks!" But that’s not all you get. For a $150 donation, you can also receive a replica of Lemmy Kilmister’s mustache made out of real human hair (source unknown)!
Trevor: ANARCHY MOTHERF*CKERS!
Scott: Couldn’t have said it any better myself. But before Trevor and I take you back to The New York Dolls’ classic performance of “Shoot That Heroin Right Through My Heart, Baby" on "Headbangers and Proto-Punks!”, we just want to remind you that even a $25 dollar contribution can help PBS in their never ending quest to bring you the best in musical performances—or spring Wayne Kramer from jail, whichever is more pressing.
And now, Trevor, what can you tell us about The Dolls?
Trevor: I want to cut you.
My Top 5
Are you sick of books, DVDs and infomercials touting strategies that will help you get out of your comfort zone and live an exceptional life?
Well, I am producing a line of books, DVDs and infomercials touting strategies that will encourage you to accept your limits and live the unexceptional life.
“It’s Just Easier!”