I don’t know if you follow these kind of things, but every year at this time, the chuckleheads at Tumblr create a list of Most Notable Tumblrs of the year.
I’m not surprised to see a large smattering of celebrity blogs on the list. After all, I do need to delude myself into thinking that celebrities want to form a real connection with me. Or even that the celebrities manage their own blogs at all. But what the heck, I still believe in Santa Claus and I’m Jewish.
Also expected are the art, photo and fashion blogs. And to that I give a resounding, MEH. It’s not that I don’t appreciate the talent, it’s just that I have so little of it myself.
But what seems to be missing every year are the sloppy, poorly organized and mildly entertaining (in a car-wreck sorta way) Tumblrs of schmos like you and me. Especially me. Which brings me to the much-delayed point of this whole thing…
I NEVER MAKE THIS DAMN LIST. I mean, I update my blog with the perfect formula of regularity (that is, often enough to remind you of my continuing presence, infrequently enough not to remind you of your geeky, younger brother). My posts are comprised of a focus group-approved combination of words, pictures, videos and music to ensure proper synergy but not overwhelm your senses. If you think this is easy, YOU find and pay a blog consultant like I do.
I’m beginning to think that a refund is in order.
1. 1 note: That festering blister selfie.
2. 0 notes: My rejected review of Depends™ adult diapers.
3. - 6 notes: The complete collection of mash notes I wrote to Ann Coulter (call me).
4. Nevermind, I didn’t even have the nerve to post it.
Created by the Worst Of Tumblr Generator.
Nothing stresses me more than attempting to pack our car for an extended trip anywhere. This week we are going to my sister-in-law’s house in New Jersey. To help organize the chaos, I generally make a written list of what has to be loaded and then I place them in the car with Tetris-like precision. Here is the list for my current trip.
I’m in my shorts and tank-top, snuggling up with my family under the blanket, except we are not actually touching each other due to the sweat involved and the blanket is actually one of those fans attached to a water bottle.
We sing Christmas carols with our hands cradling mugs of hot chocolate, chilled to perfection. I cannot bite through the marshmallow floating within due to the fact that it is still frozen. I must remember to call the dentist right after the holidays.
Since we do not have a fireplace, we replicate that coziness by having our TV perpetually tuned to the Nature Channel, where we watch video loops of glaciers falling into the Bering Sea.
Outside, one of our neighbors takes their annual ride in a sleigh down our lane. Sadly, the ensuing friction of the metal blades against the dry pavement caused the entire thing to combust into a tower of flames.
Smells like barbecue. Oh, and frankincense.