January 2012
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Heard On TV Just Now
“The MyFox weather app for iphone and Android is like having a weatherman in your hand.”
Well, that certainly was unfortunate, clueless copywriter.
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Hey Wait, That's Not Funny
Last night on Wheel Of Fortune (why I was watching is for another post), our host, Pat Sajak, introduced the contestants to the studio and TV audience. As he does every other night.
But this was not every other night.
When it came time to chat with the third and final contestant, Mike, this is what transpired:
Pat: So Mike, I hear you’re married.
Mike: That’s right, Pat, to my...
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“This blog is just getting too weird.”
– All of my ex-followers.
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Admission
I feel shame when I am in the presence of my hipster friends because I eschew the through-the-loop scarf tying technique.
Although in all honesty, I used to do it before scarves sold out and went mainstream or something.
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Thinking Outside The Box
You know those sneakers that have the integrated roller skates in them? You’ve seen kids wear them in the supermarket, careening into large corner displays and the like.
Well, that got me thinking…
Why don’t they have them for senior citizens?
I mean, haven’t you gotten frustrated walking behind an elderly person on a narrow sidewalk or in the mall? How great would it...
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Health Update
Just finished checking WebMD and apparently I have everything.
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Here's A Problem
I make it my personal business NEVER to tell the truth on a Tuesday.
Currently looking for a new blogging platform.
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Could Be Another Tim Tebow Post
I desperately wanted people to read what I was going to write, which left me in a quite a quandary.
Do I title this, “Another Tim Tebow Post” to cash in on the controversy and polarized opinions, or
title it, “Not Another Tim Tebow Post”, figuring that the subject-matter has reached its saturation point with my readers, who in turn would summarily skip right over the...
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Update
In the interest of accuracy, I retagged my previous post on Twinkies™ from “food” to “food-like substances”.
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On Twinkies™
Twinkies™ have been in the news lately. I don’t watch or read about the news because I feel that facts color my opinions. And I don’t want that.
But is it true that there might not be any Twinkies™ anymore? I have to say that I, for one, would be glad to see them go.
Between the spongy, almost artificial, texture and its unnatural sweetness (better taste through science), it is...
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Interchange Between Me And My Teenage Daughter
Me: I'm so sorry to hear about your accident.
Teen Daughter: What accident?
Me: You know, the one that rendered you completely unable to help out around the house.
Daughter: Oh, THAT one. Well, yes. Tragic...really.
Me: And just where did you get that smart mouth while we're at it?
Daughter: ...
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People who feel free to lecture me on the Hardy...
I own all their shirts.
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Update
It’s 60 degrees outside on January 7. Man, am I glad I’m sitting inside in a dentist office waiting room instead of enjoying the weather.
After all, what did I ever do to deserve that?
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Strange Happenings At The 1962 Home
Every night at approximately 7pm, my Internet provider, Optimum Online (a subsidiary of Cablevision, don’t you know) decides that Tumblr is an evil force that has to be eradicated and blocks my access to it.
And while I cannot argue that the content is banal at best (except your blog; yours is rad!), I do not find it so distasteful that I need to shield my eyes from it (except your blog;...
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I am No Longer On Speaking Terms With My GPS
But then again, like it ever let me get a word in edgewise.
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Why Political Apathy Fits Me Like A Glove
First, a little admission. I used to be a political activist. That’s what you call someone who votes in most elections, right?
In any event, I would pick my candidate after thoroughly scouring the newspapers for directives on who to vote for. And then with a vengeance of a person adopting a pet from the shelter, I would take full ownership—living and dying with my favorite candidates...
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It's A Google+ Renaissance!
Well, maybe that’s something of an exaggeration.
In truth, I’ve been posting to G+ recently. Mostly geeky infostuff about Android phones and flying Manta Rays. In other words, the kind of stuff that really wouldn’t mix well on my blog here or on Facebook. Well, except for the flying Manta Rays. That seems to go well anywhere.
So, I guess what I am getting at is if you have a...
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Best of tumblr generator
My BEST posts of 2011
…were 2 things I decided to delete before I ever posted them.
Thanks for nothing, Best Of Tumblr Generator.
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My Expectations For 2012
I am the internal optimist. Or something. I believe in the good in people and that tomorrow will be approximately 38% better than yesterday.
Therefore, I expect this 2012 to be my best 2012 yet.
I will magically transform my body into a steely, rippled machine through nothing more than power napping and eating cheese.
I will secure a significant raise by showing up to work everyday....
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Celebrity Breakup
Although I am disappointed that Katy Perry and Russell Brand are getting divorced, I am thankful that they can now get on with the business of working on their second marriages.
You know, the one that really matters.
December 2011
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2011: The Year In Review
Needed less pants.
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