January 2012
2 tags
Jan 26th
888 notes
1 tag
Heard On TV Just Now
“The MyFox weather app for iphone and Android is like having a weatherman in your hand.” Well, that certainly was unfortunate, clueless copywriter.
Jan 25th
12 notes
1 tag
Jan 24th
7 notes
1 tag
Hey Wait, That's Not Funny
Last night on Wheel Of Fortune (why I was watching is for another post), our host, Pat Sajak, introduced the contestants to the studio and TV audience. As he does every other night. But this was not every other night. When it came time to chat with the third and final contestant, Mike, this is what transpired: Pat: So Mike, I hear you’re married. Mike: That’s right, Pat, to my...
Jan 24th
72 notes
Jan 23rd
691 notes
2 tags
“This blog is just getting too weird.”
– All of my ex-followers.
Jan 22nd
25 notes
1 tag
Jan 22nd
26 notes
1 tag
Jan 21st
10 notes
2 tags
Jan 21st
19 notes
Jan 21st
41 notes
1 tag
Jan 21st
81 notes
2 tags
Jan 21st
23 notes
1 tag
Admission
I feel shame when I am in the presence of my hipster friends because I eschew the through-the-loop scarf tying technique. Although in all honesty, I used to do it before scarves sold out and went mainstream or something.
Jan 21st
17 notes
1 tag
Thinking Outside The Box
You know those sneakers that have the integrated roller skates in them? You’ve seen kids wear them in the supermarket, careening into large corner displays and the like. Well, that got me thinking… Why don’t they have them for senior citizens? I mean, haven’t you gotten frustrated walking behind an elderly person on a narrow sidewalk or in the mall? How great would it...
Jan 19th
22 notes
1 tag
Health Update
Just finished checking WebMD and apparently I have everything.
Jan 19th
34 notes
1 tag
Jan 19th
1 note
3 tags
Here's A Problem
I make it my personal business NEVER to tell the truth on a Tuesday. Currently looking for a new blogging platform.
Jan 17th
24 notes
Jan 16th
22 notes
1 tag
Jan 16th
5 notes
Jan 15th
437 notes
Jan 15th
20 notes
1 tag
Could Be Another Tim Tebow Post
I desperately wanted people to read what I was going to write, which left me in a quite a quandary. Do I title this, “Another Tim Tebow Post” to cash in on the controversy and polarized opinions, or title it, “Not Another Tim Tebow Post”, figuring that the subject-matter has reached its saturation point with my readers, who in turn would summarily skip right over the...
Jan 15th
28 notes
1 tag
Jan 14th
15 notes
1 tag
Jan 14th
15 notes
1 tag
Update
In the interest of accuracy, I retagged my previous post on Twinkies™ from “food” to “food-like substances”.
Jan 12th
9 notes
1 tag
On Twinkies™
Twinkies™ have been in the news lately. I don’t watch or read about the news because I feel that facts color my opinions. And I don’t want that. But is it true that there might not be any Twinkies™ anymore? I have to say that I, for one, would be glad to see them go. Between the spongy, almost artificial, texture and its unnatural sweetness (better taste through science), it is...
Jan 12th
22 notes
Jan 12th
17 notes
1 tag
Interchange Between Me And My Teenage Daughter
Me: I'm so sorry to hear about your accident.
Teen Daughter: What accident?
Me: You know, the one that rendered you completely unable to help out around the house.
Daughter: Oh, THAT one. Well, yes. Tragic...really.
Me: And just where did you get that smart mouth while we're at it?
Daughter: ...
Jan 10th
28 notes
1 tag
Jan 9th
19 notes
3 tags
Jan 8th
19 notes
4 tags
Jan 8th
3 notes
5 tags
Jan 8th
22 notes
2 tags
Jan 7th
13 notes
3 tags
People who feel free to lecture me on the Hardy...
I own all their shirts.
Jan 7th
17 notes
3 tags
Jan 7th
18 notes
Jan 7th
14 notes
1 tag
Update
It’s 60 degrees outside on January 7. Man, am I glad I’m sitting inside in a dentist office waiting room instead of enjoying the weather. After all, what did I ever do to deserve that?
Jan 7th
13 notes
2 tags
Strange Happenings At The 1962 Home
Every night at approximately 7pm, my Internet provider, Optimum Online (a subsidiary of Cablevision, don’t you know) decides that Tumblr is an evil force that has to be eradicated and blocks my access to it. And while I cannot argue that the content is banal at best (except your blog; yours is rad!), I do not find it so distasteful that I need to shield my eyes from it (except your blog;...
Jan 6th
24 notes
1 tag
I am No Longer On Speaking Terms With My GPS
But then again, like it ever let me get a word in edgewise.
Jan 6th
27 notes
1 tag
Why Political Apathy Fits Me Like A Glove
First, a little admission. I used to be a political activist. That’s what you call someone who votes in most elections, right? In any event, I would pick my candidate after thoroughly scouring the newspapers for directives on who to vote for. And then with a vengeance of a person adopting a pet from the shelter, I would take full ownership—living and dying with my favorite candidates...
Jan 4th
20 notes
Jan 2nd
12,615 notes
1 tag
It's A Google+ Renaissance!
Well, maybe that’s something of an exaggeration. In truth, I’ve been posting to G+ recently. Mostly geeky infostuff about Android phones and flying Manta Rays. In other words, the kind of stuff that really wouldn’t mix well on my blog here or on Facebook. Well, except for the flying Manta Rays. That seems to go well anywhere. So, I guess what I am getting at is if you have a...
Jan 2nd
15 notes
1 tag
Jan 2nd
740 notes
1 tag
Best of tumblr generator
My BEST posts of 2011 …were 2 things I decided to delete before I ever posted them. Thanks for nothing, Best Of Tumblr Generator.
Jan 2nd
14 notes
1 tag
Jan 1st
22 notes
2 tags
My Expectations For 2012
I am the internal optimist. Or something. I believe in the good in people and that tomorrow will be approximately 38% better than yesterday. Therefore, I expect this 2012 to be my best 2012 yet. I will magically transform my body into a steely, rippled machine through nothing more than power napping and eating cheese. I will secure a significant raise by showing up to work everyday....
Jan 1st
44 notes
1 tag
Celebrity Breakup
Although I am disappointed that Katy Perry and Russell Brand are getting divorced, I am thankful that they can now get on with the business of working on their second marriages. You know, the one that really matters.
Jan 1st
27 notes
December 2011
1 tag
2011: The Year In Review
Needed less pants.
Dec 31st
15 notes
1 tag
Dec 31st
22 notes
1 tag
Dec 31st
45 notes